Tag Archives: Spirit Work

Disconnection (Part 1 of 2)

Over the 2017 Summer the tarot cards did not like me.

Matter of fact, no divination system seemed to like me. It started at the beginning of May and continued throughout the month.  Having been involved with oracles and that type of  communication for over 30 years it was unsettling. There had never been a time where I felt so disconnected or unable to sense the message being put forward.

It started with my daily card draws. I began to get cards like the 9 of Swords, the Tower, and the 3 of Swords day after day. At first, I was concerned about what it meant. Then, as I focused on the real time events throughout the day I realized the cards did not apply at all.

I remember one in particular where I drew the Tower card for the day. I asked for some clarification on where the Tower energy might fall I pulled the 5 of Swords, Conflict. I decided to go through the day as normal and tried to not jump at shadows. I focused on staying neutral.  Certainly, such a combination of those two cards would show themselves in some way as I went through my day.  However, as the day played out and evening came, I found that my day had, in fact, been quite good and several positive things had occurred.

Another instance was when I drew a card to help me decide on something regarding my wife and I. The 3 of swords, jealousy, relationships ending and other unpleasant things. At first, of course, I was concerned but I already had my eye “on the weather” , so to speak, and so, not listening too closely to the card, moved forward.  Needless to say, the energy never manifested and everything turned out fine.

In trying to do more structured readings for either myself or friends I would get, to be blunt, garbage. In May it was working alright but by early June, nothing would make sense. I would ask about something regarding my work and, again, draw cards like the Tower, the 8 of Swords, the 5 of Swords and the Devil. At the time, I was asking about whether I should move on a particular project not if the world was ending!  Regardless, everything was doom, gloom, defeat and chaos.  This continued on with all my normal oracles I had been familiar with for so long. The Faeries Oracle continued to show me the more “slippery” cards like Topsy Turvetts, The Pookha or The Glanconer. One card would say “Speed up!”, another would say, “Slow down!”

In June, I actually stopped reading the cards for other people because of the mixed signals and general chaos which seemed to come with every reading. I decided to tuck everything away and I chose not to read anything for a few weeks. When that had passed, now late May almost June, I pulled some cards out and tried again. And, again, the same effect. I put the cards away again. I did become a bit “lost” because it was something that had become second nature to me.

To have the connection suddenly disappear is very hard to describe. A reading from a friend over Facebook eased my mind a bit and suggested it was just a period of time-out and that the answer would come. I was not to “push” anything and to just let it be.  I opted for a “Full stop” approach.  I could picture a large ship’s telegraph in my mind.   I stopped with the cards, with spirits, with dowsing.  All of it.  I did continue to offer spirit offerings and to put out a small plate of goodies for our house brownie.  Otherwise, nothing.  I allowed myself to fall into the mundane life.  I forced myself to wait.  It was not easy but it felt necessary.

In addition other things fell away and I felt like a thick quilt had been thrown up over me and my connections. I stopped remembering my dreams. Odd, happenstance encounters with wildlife stopped occurring as regularly. Life became, for a lack of a better word, mundane.

 

The summer months went by and then, around the end of July, I had a curious thought brought about by binge watching “Vikings.” I had the small thought, “My first divination system was the runes.  What if I looked at those again?”  I can tell you exactly what episode it was.  Episode 16 of Season 4, “Crossings.”  It was a powerful episode for me.  If you’ve seen it, you know why.

I then realized, without remorse, that I had given away my first rune set to one of my children a few years ago.  This, however, inspired me as I would now have to start over.  Nothing gets you fired up and into something then having to start over.  My first set to get me up and running was made with a fine point Sharpie pen on trimmed index cards.  Resourceful and functional.  It got me through a few weeks until I could get to a craft store to purchase some wooden discs.  I then spent a delightful evening painting the elder futhark onto them with acrylic craft paint.  It was a pretty magical and ceremonial event with me bent over my little plastic cup, my paint brush and my little wooden discs.  I didn’t even have a candle or incense going!  How rebellious!  What I did do with every single symbol I painted was I focused internally.  I focused on the symbol, what it meant and attempted to paint as clean as lines as possible and THAT was my ceremony.

Within a few hours, I found myself with a set of futhark runes.  After letting them dry and working out the stiffness in my cramped brush hand I placed them in a ceramic bowl and drew my first rune using the new set.

Ansuz.  Communication and signals.  The rune of prophecy and, most importantly, the rune of Odin himself.

Given my situation, there was not a more fortuitous rune I could have drawn which could encompass all I had been through.   At that moment, I knew that whatever disconnection had occurred was on its way out.  Was it possible that my time without connection was equivocal to Odin’s time in the tree?  Had I been hanging upside down as some sort of internal process worked it’s way through me?  As an extra spot of fun, Odin had figured very heavily into that episode of Vikings I mentioned that started the whole process.  As I said, if you’ve seen it, you know what I mean!

Little did I know just how much of a process had been working and what kind of re-connection was about to occur!

(Continued in Part 2, Reconnection.)

Advertisements

Full Moon Announcement – Free Readings

The Full Moon crazy has hit me.

Since deciding this week to do readings for other people I decided to go one step further with the Full Moon.  For the Full Moon weekend I will be offering free 3 card readings for folks who contact me here, through gmail or any of the other social media feeds I have.  I made a short video this morning that goes over the details.   I’m offering this until late Sunday night and even if it takes all week, I’ll get to everyone I can.

More later but I wanted to get this up here as soon as I could and before the day grew any later.

Cheers!


A Casual “Walk and Talk”

Over the weekend I took to the park again to record another video.  I enjoyed my first foray into doing a video log and wanted to continue.  This time I wanted to create more of a “walk and talk” while I ask a very important question which has been on my mind.

If you don’t have the ability to watch the video then let me sum things up.  The question at hand was how important is it for me to show my identity on my videos?  Is it an aspect that helps bolster the connection and the communication or does it just become a matter of a talking head?  I have concerns regarding my privacy which are addressed in the video. They go back for some time and I understand they are one of the major challenges the Morrigan has placed before me for me to resolve.

It’s not that she is saying I should show my face and, in effect, come out of the broom closet.  Instead she simply wants me to become settled with a decision on a heart and soul level.  The video above is part of that Morrigan-led shadow work which has become a focus for me the past few weeks.

I’ve enjoyed making these and will be making more.  The time involved is surprising as I take the vid from the camera, render it into my software, edit, save and then upload it.  Regardless,  I’ll continue to make them for the time being.

What are your thoughts?  In the video I ask everyone to comment or to email me or to message me on Facebook. I would really like to hear the opinions of others on this.  Please give it a watch if you can.  As said in the video, feel free to comment here or elsewhere what your thoughts may be.  Hearing other’s opinions can sometimes help me find my way through the thicket of having too many of my own.

And, added bonus, there’s some small wildlife encounters along the way to cheer you up.

 


Moon Phase Readings – Full to New Moon, December 2016

The problem with having a blog AND a Youtube channel is you occasionally forget  you did one and did not update the other!  For instance, here’s a reading I did on this past Full Moon last week and the energies/advice for moving toward the New Moon at the end of the month, December 29th.

This is part of a new series of readings I will be doing at every New Moon and Full Moon to help navigate the coming time.  I frame the question and the reading to be focused towards anyone who might be watching it.  After that, I just let the Universe do it’s thing.

 

More to come as I get my tripod and camera figured out a bit better!


Shadow Boxing

What is insecurity? By default, of course, it is a lack of security. It is a state of being open, unprotected, and a lack of faith in oneself or one’s abilities. What is security? It is confidence that you can’t be harmed, that you are protected OR that you are backed up by something powerful. You have faith in yourself and in something larger. In this realm of magic and myth, the two are interconnected. An insecurity is believing you are not good enough to do “X”. A security is knowing no matter what happens, you can do “X” for the right reasons and still learn something even if you don’t succeed.

An insecurity will make you confused, anxious or be in doubt if you receive a negative comment. They undermine you. With security, you fall back on your training, you shrug it off as no big deal.

At the Morrigan’s request, I’ve been exploring the origins of my own insecurities. It’s been going on for several days now with reviews of my childhood, my adolescence, what made me me, etc.  It’s a bit like volunteering to dig into your own dirt before the warrior queen standing next to you hits you with the shovel.

In martial arts there is a jumping off point beginners have to learn. It’s not only learning how to hit someone (most people just don’t know how or, thankfully, have never had to) but it’s also learning how to take a hit. How it feels to take a shot to the blocking arm or to the body. It’s learning how to deal with the pain and the distracting sensations. You eventually get to a point where you feel it but it’s not necessarily pain. It’s just a sensation and you keep going. You build up a tolerance. You also build up confidence.

Two mornings ago I had a dream with the Morrigan.  As usual, she was in full black battle armor, dark mail gloves, boots and her black cloak of crow feathers.  We stood on frozen bare earth, in a clearing with dark pine woods encircling us.  There was not so much snow on the ground as just heavy frost.  There was snow in the pines, I remember that. There was a chill in the air, little glitterings of frost in the air and I could see our breath as we spoke.  The ground crunched underneath us as we stepped and moved.

She was punching me.  It was a type of martial training and she kept coming in with these heavy shots of those black mailed fists. WHAM! WhaM! I kept my head covered, taking the shots, feeling their impact on my upper arm, my shoulder as I covered. I could feel the cold metal of her gauntlets hitting me, the cold making the sensation worse. As soon as a punch landed I would attempt to grab, wrap and counter-strike. She would kick me off of or slide out and then bring the other fist around. I’d dodge one or two then WHAM!

Then, we would step back. She would say something, point to my blocking arm, point to me, say something else. She was blunt, direct but I don’t remember her words. All I know is that She wanted me to get used to the feeling of being punched by a hard mailed fist. It was part of the training. I was sore and bleeding but not tired.

Then, we would go again. I’m not sure how long the dream had gone. All I know is that she stopped, nodded and did her disappearing act.

I woke up.

I chewed on the meaning of the dream for some time. Finally, she whispered a clue in my ear, “Insecurities.” And then, I understood. In the dream-time, where symbols are key, she was symbolically teaching me how to shake off the veritable “slings and arrows” that make up insecurities. She was toughening me up.  I was being taught to react to those insecurities as you would take a hit in martial arts training.  Don’t get emotional.  It’s not personal.  It’s practice.

Later in the day I heard her again and wrote this out quickly on a notepad file. “”With an insecurity, you can’t take the hit. You can’t take a negative comment. You’re scared of opinions, you scared of what others think, you allow yourself to be controlled by others and are unable to stand your ground unless angry or mad. When that happens, when emotion takes over, you cannot react with skill. A warrior should react with skill and control.”

“Insecurities bring you doubt. They cause hesitation. They knock you off-balance. In training you learn they are nothing, that they do not effect you and they do not stick. If this is practiced you are then able to act in calm and confidence.  You can stand your ground without your ego interfering.”

“When you can do that, you’re ready.”

My next question was, of course, “Ready for what?”

“Growth,” was her single answer.

 


“One Card for You, One Card for Me.”

Since speaking with the Morrigan and agreeing to work with her I had a day where she was just not around.  Monday was fairly normal and the first day in a week where the blue flame image wasn’t prominent in my inner vision.  I spent the day asking, for the most part, “Ok, what next?”

This morning, during my morning card reading, she returned.  I was shuffling my Wildwood tarot and I felt her arrive.  This, in itself, is very hard to describe. It is a simple knowing, a presence.  I feel a shift and the dark blue flames tingle up my arms.

I greeted her and heard her say, “You asked a question about our work?”  I agreed and a simple statement came to my inner ear, “One card for you, one card for me.”  She stared at me and stayed behind my left shoulder as I drew both cards.  With the second card, I could feel her guiding my hand to the card.

So, there it was.  One card would be for my physical day, work, life, family, etc.  The second card would be for her.  It would tell me my first trial.  Fair enough.

I won’t show many of these and I’m guessing there will be several such lessons from her through the cards.  I’ve decided to show you this one because once you see the cards you’ll see just how apt the whole thing ended up being.  It’s also a bit of proof that the Morrigan is direct, engaging and no-nonsense.

1122160641

The first card, the card for me, the Four of Arrows, is about rest, about taking it easy.  Today, for me, is very much like this.  With the holiday nearby and me being off tomorrow, today will be easy.  After the intense weeks I have run since September, this is a welcome site.   More importantly, it’s a call to engage that rest, to be conscious of it.

The second card, the card from her.  Seven of Arrows ~ Insecurity.

Straight to the point.  The first step of the Morrigan’s teaching?  Time to dig up those insecurities and start looking at them.

“Start today and use your rest wisely,” she said.  “These insecurities need to go first before we continue and you will know when to draw the next card.  Address them, tend to them.  Sort them out and identify them.  It will be easier to weed them out.”

“All of them?”

“If not all, most,” she said and gave me that direct, black-eye stare.

“Well,” I said jokingly, “I’m gonna need a bigger boat.”

She just stared at me, gave me a half smile and a crook of an eyebrow to show me amusement and disappeared again.

She’s fond of me.  I can tell.

 

 


The Queen of Crows

(This is a very personal post which I did not want to initially publish.  I believe that part of my work with the Morrigan is to show my process with her, to help others to see or understand.  She has told me this isn’t for me.  It’s helpful and is necessary.  To be honest, I cannot guarantee I will keep this post up for very long.  We will see how this goes.)

On Sunday, I took a walk out into a chilly morning right after dawn to have a little sit down chat with the Morrigan.  You know, like you do…  I felt called to shoot a little video before hand which I did.  It’s over on my youtube channel if you want to see it.  I think now it was just a way for me to calm my nerves and to have some record in case I disappeared, swooped up in a dark cloud of crow wings and fury.  (Just kidding…I think.)

Shortly after filming I sat there and talked to her.  Well, I talked, she mainly listened.  Sitting on a log, nestled by some sheltering cedar from the cold breeze.  I was alone in meditation.  My eyes were closed, focused on my inner vision.

Unlike other spirits or visions, contact with her is crystal clear.  There are no “halfway” ideas of what I saw or didn’t see.  I don’t have to stretch for anything.  It’s typically in high-def.   Unlike the unclothed and long-maned Dark Lady from the Faeries Oracle, she was dressed in bulky, weathered, black leather armor, crow feathers and dark fur at her shoulders.  Her hair was black and unruly, cropped short falling just above her eyebrows and just below her ears. It looked like it had been cut with a knife.  On her back draped a long cloak that shimmered between dark blue, black and crow/raven feathers.

Continue reading