Category Archives: Healing

Disconnection (Part 1 of 2)

Over the 2017 Summer the tarot cards did not like me.

Matter of fact, no divination system seemed to like me. It started at the beginning of May and continued throughout the month.  Having been involved with oracles and that type of  communication for over 30 years it was unsettling. There had never been a time where I felt so disconnected or unable to sense the message being put forward.

It started with my daily card draws. I began to get cards like the 9 of Swords, the Tower, and the 3 of Swords day after day. At first, I was concerned about what it meant. Then, as I focused on the real time events throughout the day I realized the cards did not apply at all.

I remember one in particular where I drew the Tower card for the day. I asked for some clarification on where the Tower energy might fall I pulled the 5 of Swords, Conflict. I decided to go through the day as normal and tried to not jump at shadows. I focused on staying neutral.  Certainly, such a combination of those two cards would show themselves in some way as I went through my day.  However, as the day played out and evening came, I found that my day had, in fact, been quite good and several positive things had occurred.

Another instance was when I drew a card to help me decide on something regarding my wife and I. The 3 of swords, jealousy, relationships ending and other unpleasant things. At first, of course, I was concerned but I already had my eye “on the weather” , so to speak, and so, not listening too closely to the card, moved forward.  Needless to say, the energy never manifested and everything turned out fine.

In trying to do more structured readings for either myself or friends I would get, to be blunt, garbage. In May it was working alright but by early June, nothing would make sense. I would ask about something regarding my work and, again, draw cards like the Tower, the 8 of Swords, the 5 of Swords and the Devil. At the time, I was asking about whether I should move on a particular project not if the world was ending!  Regardless, everything was doom, gloom, defeat and chaos.  This continued on with all my normal oracles I had been familiar with for so long. The Faeries Oracle continued to show me the more “slippery” cards like Topsy Turvetts, The Pookha or The Glanconer. One card would say “Speed up!”, another would say, “Slow down!”

In June, I actually stopped reading the cards for other people because of the mixed signals and general chaos which seemed to come with every reading. I decided to tuck everything away and I chose not to read anything for a few weeks. When that had passed, now late May almost June, I pulled some cards out and tried again. And, again, the same effect. I put the cards away again. I did become a bit “lost” because it was something that had become second nature to me.

To have the connection suddenly disappear is very hard to describe. A reading from a friend over Facebook eased my mind a bit and suggested it was just a period of time-out and that the answer would come. I was not to “push” anything and to just let it be.  I opted for a “Full stop” approach.  I could picture a large ship’s telegraph in my mind.   I stopped with the cards, with spirits, with dowsing.  All of it.  I did continue to offer spirit offerings and to put out a small plate of goodies for our house brownie.  Otherwise, nothing.  I allowed myself to fall into the mundane life.  I forced myself to wait.  It was not easy but it felt necessary.

In addition other things fell away and I felt like a thick quilt had been thrown up over me and my connections. I stopped remembering my dreams. Odd, happenstance encounters with wildlife stopped occurring as regularly. Life became, for a lack of a better word, mundane.

 

The summer months went by and then, around the end of July, I had a curious thought brought about by binge watching “Vikings.” I had the small thought, “My first divination system was the runes.  What if I looked at those again?”  I can tell you exactly what episode it was.  Episode 16 of Season 4, “Crossings.”  It was a powerful episode for me.  If you’ve seen it, you know why.

I then realized, without remorse, that I had given away my first rune set to one of my children a few years ago.  This, however, inspired me as I would now have to start over.  Nothing gets you fired up and into something then having to start over.  My first set to get me up and running was made with a fine point Sharpie pen on trimmed index cards.  Resourceful and functional.  It got me through a few weeks until I could get to a craft store to purchase some wooden discs.  I then spent a delightful evening painting the elder futhark onto them with acrylic craft paint.  It was a pretty magical and ceremonial event with me bent over my little plastic cup, my paint brush and my little wooden discs.  I didn’t even have a candle or incense going!  How rebellious!  What I did do with every single symbol I painted was I focused internally.  I focused on the symbol, what it meant and attempted to paint as clean as lines as possible and THAT was my ceremony.

Within a few hours, I found myself with a set of futhark runes.  After letting them dry and working out the stiffness in my cramped brush hand I placed them in a ceramic bowl and drew my first rune using the new set.

Ansuz.  Communication and signals.  The rune of prophecy and, most importantly, the rune of Odin himself.

Given my situation, there was not a more fortuitous rune I could have drawn which could encompass all I had been through.   At that moment, I knew that whatever disconnection had occurred was on its way out.  Was it possible that my time without connection was equivocal to Odin’s time in the tree?  Had I been hanging upside down as some sort of internal process worked it’s way through me?  As an extra spot of fun, Odin had figured very heavily into that episode of Vikings I mentioned that started the whole process.  As I said, if you’ve seen it, you know what I mean!

Little did I know just how much of a process had been working and what kind of re-connection was about to occur!

(Continued in Part 2, Reconnection.)

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Full Moon Announcement – Free Readings

The Full Moon crazy has hit me.

Since deciding this week to do readings for other people I decided to go one step further with the Full Moon.  For the Full Moon weekend I will be offering free 3 card readings for folks who contact me here, through gmail or any of the other social media feeds I have.  I made a short video this morning that goes over the details.   I’m offering this until late Sunday night and even if it takes all week, I’ll get to everyone I can.

More later but I wanted to get this up here as soon as I could and before the day grew any later.

Cheers!


Moon Phase Tarot Reading, New to Full, 1/27 – 2/10

I don’t like to run these readings too far out from the actual date of the event.  I find that the further away from the event in time the higher the chance the reading will be off.  “Always in motion is the future,” said a wise, green goblin in a swamp.  This time I cut it a little close and then ran into some technical issues so that the video didn’t make it up until an hour or more AFTER the event of the New Moon had started.  Bah!

So, I’ve learned from my lessons and will try to afford a bit more of a cushion next time!

This one’s got a lot of energy behind it.  I think you’ll understand when you watch it.  This is the reading that will carry us out of the energy of the Moon card from the Winter Solstice reading, into Imbolc and beyond.  It will be interesting to see how this one jives up with the upcoming reading for Imbolc.

Spring is coming!

 


Shadow Boxing

What is insecurity? By default, of course, it is a lack of security. It is a state of being open, unprotected, and a lack of faith in oneself or one’s abilities. What is security? It is confidence that you can’t be harmed, that you are protected OR that you are backed up by something powerful. You have faith in yourself and in something larger. In this realm of magic and myth, the two are interconnected. An insecurity is believing you are not good enough to do “X”. A security is knowing no matter what happens, you can do “X” for the right reasons and still learn something even if you don’t succeed.

An insecurity will make you confused, anxious or be in doubt if you receive a negative comment. They undermine you. With security, you fall back on your training, you shrug it off as no big deal.

At the Morrigan’s request, I’ve been exploring the origins of my own insecurities. It’s been going on for several days now with reviews of my childhood, my adolescence, what made me me, etc.  It’s a bit like volunteering to dig into your own dirt before the warrior queen standing next to you hits you with the shovel.

In martial arts there is a jumping off point beginners have to learn. It’s not only learning how to hit someone (most people just don’t know how or, thankfully, have never had to) but it’s also learning how to take a hit. How it feels to take a shot to the blocking arm or to the body. It’s learning how to deal with the pain and the distracting sensations. You eventually get to a point where you feel it but it’s not necessarily pain. It’s just a sensation and you keep going. You build up a tolerance. You also build up confidence.

Two mornings ago I had a dream with the Morrigan.  As usual, she was in full black battle armor, dark mail gloves, boots and her black cloak of crow feathers.  We stood on frozen bare earth, in a clearing with dark pine woods encircling us.  There was not so much snow on the ground as just heavy frost.  There was snow in the pines, I remember that. There was a chill in the air, little glitterings of frost in the air and I could see our breath as we spoke.  The ground crunched underneath us as we stepped and moved.

She was punching me.  It was a type of martial training and she kept coming in with these heavy shots of those black mailed fists. WHAM! WhaM! I kept my head covered, taking the shots, feeling their impact on my upper arm, my shoulder as I covered. I could feel the cold metal of her gauntlets hitting me, the cold making the sensation worse. As soon as a punch landed I would attempt to grab, wrap and counter-strike. She would kick me off of or slide out and then bring the other fist around. I’d dodge one or two then WHAM!

Then, we would step back. She would say something, point to my blocking arm, point to me, say something else. She was blunt, direct but I don’t remember her words. All I know is that She wanted me to get used to the feeling of being punched by a hard mailed fist. It was part of the training. I was sore and bleeding but not tired.

Then, we would go again. I’m not sure how long the dream had gone. All I know is that she stopped, nodded and did her disappearing act.

I woke up.

I chewed on the meaning of the dream for some time. Finally, she whispered a clue in my ear, “Insecurities.” And then, I understood. In the dream-time, where symbols are key, she was symbolically teaching me how to shake off the veritable “slings and arrows” that make up insecurities. She was toughening me up.  I was being taught to react to those insecurities as you would take a hit in martial arts training.  Don’t get emotional.  It’s not personal.  It’s practice.

Later in the day I heard her again and wrote this out quickly on a notepad file. “”With an insecurity, you can’t take the hit. You can’t take a negative comment. You’re scared of opinions, you scared of what others think, you allow yourself to be controlled by others and are unable to stand your ground unless angry or mad. When that happens, when emotion takes over, you cannot react with skill. A warrior should react with skill and control.”

“Insecurities bring you doubt. They cause hesitation. They knock you off-balance. In training you learn they are nothing, that they do not effect you and they do not stick. If this is practiced you are then able to act in calm and confidence.  You can stand your ground without your ego interfering.”

“When you can do that, you’re ready.”

My next question was, of course, “Ready for what?”

“Growth,” was her single answer.

 


Presidential Information Round-up and Reading

I like to use the resource of youtube to review the information provided by card readers and channelers as we move into or through a major world event or news story.  I’ve been doing this for awhile but this will be the first time I’ve talked about it here.  If this is well received, I’ll maybe make this a feature here in the future.

I think we are all in agreement that this presidential election process was terrible.   When I heard the results of the election I wasn’t overly shocked as others.  I was saddened, however, for our country.  Being a fan of history and political science, I saw this coming months ago.  In addition, we tricksters recognize our own, for good and for ill.  There was way too much underestimation going on in regards to the now President-Elect and, as I like to say, underestimation is the Trickster’s playground.

The days following the election I took to Youtube and began going over numerous videos focused on card readings and the presidential election.  I stayed to within a week of the election, disregarding readings that were further away than that.  The future is constantly spinning and swirling.  In this case, even more so.  I wanted to see what was being said just before the election and just afterwards.

Continue reading


Tonight 11-11

A quick post before more time goes by.

In light of recent events over the past few days, this evening at 11:00 PM EST I will be sitting down in peace.   I will be taking time to focus on peace, care, illumination and healing for any and all  who may need it.   This is a turbulent, historic time and it stands to possibly get worse.  It feels as if the whole country and the world is holding it’s breath.  If nothing else, it is a little positive energy focused onto a weary world.

Please join me for whatever time you have available in whatever way suits you the best.   This morning at 11 AM I simply took a quick break and stood in a stairwell, focused on my breath and asked for the above.  It only took 5 minutes.  Tonight, I may go longer but there is no time limit.  Do what you can.

Peace.


Keeping On Track

(Note – This was originally drafted on Nov 6th, just before the election.)

Since Samhain things have continued to move forward, the flog clearing.  A few things have come up since then and I thought that even if it turns into a short post I would catch you up.  Since my last post I have been very focused on making sure the fog does not “slip back in.”  I’ve started a few routines to help with it.  I’m sure some of you may already do these things.  If not, perhaps they might give you some ideas of your own.

leaves2

 

At least twice a day, I re-affirm the magic and spirituality of life

What I mean by this is I try to take some time, at least twice a day, to really appreciate Spirit.  I do this in different ways.  This may be a short as a minute or two or it might be longer.  It just depends on what is going on and how much time I have in the morning or the evening.  It can be a simple thought about spirit or ancestors, a musing on the interconnected nature of everything while sitting quietly, or perhaps just stopping to count my breath for a few moments while I watch a spider at lunch.

I  started a magical / paranormal journal

This has been started several times but it always crashed and burned.  This was because I was stuck on it being handwritten and having all the different aspects of my magical life crammed into one tome.  My hand would often cramp up from trying to get everything in there and I found valuable free time going to catching up on my entries instead of doing a reading or experimenting with dowsing.  I started a digital journal, created some tags to help me find things and began to document this new phase of my life.   I agreed with myself that I would hold no reservation on how long or how short an entry may be and I could enter multiple entries a day if I wished.  There are no rules.  It has helped immensely.

I ask myself, “What is Spirit trying to tell me here?”

In any situation, from a stressful work moment to a peaceful lunch among falling autumn leaves, I pause and ask that simple question. I ask gently.  Then, I take a few seconds and just listen.  Sometimes there is no answer and I don’t push for one.  Other times I’ve heard some really great answers.

I relaxed and gave up.

Let me be clear, this was not in a depressing way.  I’ve just started to just let things be… well… things.  I’ve stopped pushing so much for answers.  Better yet, you could say I’ve stopped pushing for the answers I wanted to hear.

And that’s it.  I just try to pay attention more and work towards not going “unconscious” again.

It feels good.

I feel like I’m coming back around to a place of solidity which I have not seen in a long, long while.