It was shortly after reading a post entitled “Be The Dark” by Druid John Beckett over on Pantheon that I was hit with the visualization. During a break at work I took a moment, closed my eyes and focused on why I felt his blog post had hit me so hard, why had it resonated so strongly with me? I knew I had been holding back fears, processing angers and doubts. I also was aware of the information passed on to me from the tarot readings on the recent super moon. Maintain your center. Be aware of emotions at full tide. Balance.
I highly recommend you give it a look. It’s focus is on what to do if you’re just not feeling connected to the Light? What if you are still angry, upset and just plain mad? In the post he talks about how, if you can’t be the Light, you should be the Dark.
Now, I’m not known for my dark side wanderings. I shy away from my anger and try to process it. I typically stick pretty close to the Light and to my connection with nature in the daytime. Flowers instead of thorns. However, as I’ve grown older I’ve had an increased urge toward the thorns. As I stopped to think about the Dark, I was reminded of my first encounter with a dark nature spirit which occurred over twenty years ago. It taught me that all was not as it seemed.
I would consider it a “dark Fey.” Many, many years ago, I was fortunate enough to live in the country and to have a garage. I had set up an altar in the garage and I used it as a ritual space for oracle work or meditation. Two to three times a week, oftentimes more, I would sage and purify the space. It was a good place. We would have nearby nature spirits come by for a visit and some took up residence. Many people commented on how “safe” they felt in that sanctuary. We would have dinner in there with friends on the nights the Wheel turned. One night, unable to sleep, I wandered in there to settle myself down for some quiet meditation/visualization at around 2 AM. Just as I flipped on the light I felt this “whoosh” and had the sense of a dark, flowing spiky thing dashing underneath the cover of the altar table. I also felt/sensed some of my Fey friends yell, “turn the light off!”
I did so quickly but immediately went on the defensive. Though I wanted to immediately go on the defensive, grabbing my sage and calling up shields, I did not. I didn’t feel it was necessary. I KNEW the wards on the space were solid and in place. Whatever it was that was there, it had made it through the wards which meant, by default, it was okay.
I talked to it. I coaxed it out of from underneath the table. I asked if it was ok to light a small candle and was told it was. The spirit felt dark as night and, as I said, spiky, like an odd mix of a goblin, spider and a scorpion. It was also scared. I did a quick card reading in hopes of learning more and I pulled the 5 of Pentacles. Poverty. Exhaustion. It was just looking for a place to “warm up.”
With caution, I allowed it to stay the night and to return as needed. I began to leave it offerings on the spirit plate I kept at that time. I agreed that the lights in the garage would never come on after midnight or before 7 AM or dawn, whichever came first. It did return and was always respectful and quite gracious. It brought a few friends and the energy up there in the middle of the night was incredibly intense. It was not for the faint of heart. Over time, I found a friend with that dark spirit.
Now, do not misunderstand me, there is a distinct difference between Dark and Malicious. Something may be Dark but not malicious or, as much as I hate to use the word, “evil.” Another way I’ve been told to look at it is to say that some things do not appreciate the light of day time. Though it may make them fuel for our fears it does not make them evil monsters. My encounter that night many years ago and the ones that followed changed the way I look at “shadow” things. The spirit I met that night was no more evil than a black fox, a panther or a creepy looking spider. Just because it was “of the dark” did not make it malicious or vengeful or any other stereotypical attributes some might jump towards. I was reminded of the Batman or The Shadow from my youthful comic book days. I learned that not all things dark and spiky were negative or evil.
It was my first interaction with “The Dark.” Over the years, I would have many, many more.
So, today, after reading the post I mention above I sat back, centered and, focused on my feelings regarding “being the dark.” It felt fine. It felt comfortable. How odd! It’s been some time since I had thought about that other side. I could not ignore the resonance I was feeling. I’ve known for some time that in order to grow and evolve I would need to look into the darker side of myself. Was this what it was about? Is this what the recent events, both at Samhain and the weeks following, were preparing me for?
As I sat and meditated on these questions an image sprang directly in front of my eyes with great power. It was nothing that I had ever seen before; a single, large dark blue flame with light blue defining it’s flickering, burning edges. It simply sat in front of me. I saw nothing else but I felt much more. I felt strength and, surprisingly, comfort and peace. Though I felt a presence I heard or sensed no other communication except the sensations I was receiving. It just hovered there, waiting, until I came out of trance and needed to get back to work.
So, now, I need to look into this further. What was that Blue Flame all about? What does it mean? What about the Dark? This evening and tomorrow I will be delving into it further as I have time to do so. If anyone reading this has information on the aspects concerning a dark blue ball of flame with light blue fringes, please feel free to let me know in the comments.