Category Archives: Dark

A Casual “Walk and Talk”

Over the weekend I took to the park again to record another video.  I enjoyed my first foray into doing a video log and wanted to continue.  This time I wanted to create more of a “walk and talk” while I ask a very important question which has been on my mind.

If you don’t have the ability to watch the video then let me sum things up.  The question at hand was how important is it for me to show my identity on my videos?  Is it an aspect that helps bolster the connection and the communication or does it just become a matter of a talking head?  I have concerns regarding my privacy which are addressed in the video. They go back for some time and I understand they are one of the major challenges the Morrigan has placed before me for me to resolve.

It’s not that she is saying I should show my face and, in effect, come out of the broom closet.  Instead she simply wants me to become settled with a decision on a heart and soul level.  The video above is part of that Morrigan-led shadow work which has become a focus for me the past few weeks.

I’ve enjoyed making these and will be making more.  The time involved is surprising as I take the vid from the camera, render it into my software, edit, save and then upload it.  Regardless,  I’ll continue to make them for the time being.

What are your thoughts?  In the video I ask everyone to comment or to email me or to message me on Facebook. I would really like to hear the opinions of others on this.  Please give it a watch if you can.  As said in the video, feel free to comment here or elsewhere what your thoughts may be.  Hearing other’s opinions can sometimes help me find my way through the thicket of having too many of my own.

And, added bonus, there’s some small wildlife encounters along the way to cheer you up.

 


Solstice Blessings Thrice Over / Solstice to Imbolc Reading

Blessings to one and all on Solstice Day!

We’ve reached the end of the cycle, the interim dark before the Light begins to finally return.  A time for reflection, gratitude and connection.  Personally, today marks the end of my trial run with the Morrigan and the beginning of the end of the year known as 2016.

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Sunrise on the Winter Solstice 2016.

I learned something interesting a few days ago about the power of 3 and the sneakiness of ancient Christians which I wanted to share here.  As we know, the Winter Solstice marks the first point where the days begin to grow longer.  What I didn’t know is that from the naked, primordial eye, the sun appears to hover around the same point on the horizon every dawn for 3 days.  For that time we are in the middle dark.  Then, after that time period the sun finally begins to move along the horizon again and the days grow longer.

I’ve always been a fan of liminal spaces, those spaces of the in-between.  The edges and areas of transition.  for me, it’s where Magic happens.  3 days of middle dark.   Finding this out was quite a relief to me as now I have three days to do the work I used to cram into one!

This Solstice morning was a peaceful, gorgeous event.  I was up early so as to start card readings right at the moment of Solstice.  I did one for myself and then proceeded to work my way to a few other subjects.

When I do a reading for all of you and put it here on the blog I have to change up my focus a bit.  My question goes from a pinpoint to a wide spread spectrum.  The question I usually ask is, “For anyone seeing this reading, what do they need to know?”  This goes for my Moon phase reading or, for instance, the reading below.   In this case I asked, “From Solstice and until Imbolc, Feb 1st, 2017, what wisdom is needed?”

I drew the cards with my pendulum.  I had intended to only draw one card but I continually find that one card for such a large span of time usually comes up short.   So, in my typical “conversational style” I drew a second and then a third card with no real question in the layout.  The timeline stated in the question helped frame things a little, of course.  I talk a little about upcoming time marks in the reading.   Though the cards were meant as a conversation even a conversation has a beginning, a middle and an end.

Again, the power of 3.

I had originally planned on putting this reading on Youtube but, surprise surprise, technical issues raised their Mercury retrograde head.

Here’s the reading and then my commentary is below.

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First –  Ace of Swords

Ace of Swords.  Beginnings.  Mental Clarity.  Cutting through confusion and finding a way forward.  Seeing through illusions.  The first thing I noticed was the landscape and the holly and oak hanging off of the crown.   You could say this card itself is very much the Winter Solstice.   The clarity of a cold winter day.  This is telling us that this Solstice marks a new beginning, a time to cut through confusion and to see through illusion.   The energy is there and we have already begun to see it in action.   This mental acuity will play itself out over the holiday season and will be available as we move forward into the new year.

Second – The Tower

And… here we go again.  I don’t know how many times the pendulum has pulled the Tower card for situations since Samhain.  It’s not quite becoming normal but it’s not unexpected anymore either.    All of that mental clarity over the past few weeks will combine into another time period where winds will blow and previously believed strongholds will fall.  Tis’ the season for knocking things, ideas and concepts over, both personal, political and metaphysical.  Remember, the Tower card typically covers things that NEED to be knocked down and over.  Try to keep that in mind.    If nothing else this is just confirmation that the intensity which has been rolling around us for the past several weeks will be continuing.

Third – The Moon

Amidst the Tower we may be a bit confused and not sure how to proceed.  Fears and confusion.  However, that’s IF we look at things with our physical eyes.  Keep your inner eyes and your intuition going strong and you’ll be able to see the path.   This will be a time when intuition and inner guidance will be key.    Don’t let illusions fool you and remember that Ace of Swords card!  Those of us already versed at this will be able to navigate this properly and will be able to hear the information we need  The full moon falls on January 12th and will be throwing  it’s weight into things as well.  (I’m actually interested to see how the next moon phase reading overlays with this one!)

Overview

Ok, now, let’s throw all of that together.  We all hate it when the cards don’t give us the happy, shiny picture we had wanted to hear.  I know it looks daunting but I heard this with my inner ear as I was typing the post, “Just because it’s dark doesn’t mean it’s bad.”  Keep that in mind.

From right now and for the next several weeks, we have some very strong energy going for us involving clarity AND the ability to cut through crap.  This is very important because we will need it when the Tower starts up again.  The good news?  We’re getting better at riding out these lightning strikes.

The Ace of Swords is going to be with us through the most of the high winds and heavy water ahead.  Find your clarity over the Yuletide.  What is important to you?  What is your focus?  It combined with the Moon reinforces that reason will be needed over the next few months.  The urge to overreact to fears and shadows might be overwhelming but keep your intuition and inner ear sharp.  There are treasures to be found in the moonlit swamp.  You just need to stay focused.  I also feel that it will be very important for those that know how to wield their intuition and awareness will be needed to help those that are getting knocked off kilter and wandering around in a dark place.

Enjoy this holiday season and find the blade of reason which will help you heading into the new year.

Peace and Strength!

 

 


Shadow Boxing

What is insecurity? By default, of course, it is a lack of security. It is a state of being open, unprotected, and a lack of faith in oneself or one’s abilities. What is security? It is confidence that you can’t be harmed, that you are protected OR that you are backed up by something powerful. You have faith in yourself and in something larger. In this realm of magic and myth, the two are interconnected. An insecurity is believing you are not good enough to do “X”. A security is knowing no matter what happens, you can do “X” for the right reasons and still learn something even if you don’t succeed.

An insecurity will make you confused, anxious or be in doubt if you receive a negative comment. They undermine you. With security, you fall back on your training, you shrug it off as no big deal.

At the Morrigan’s request, I’ve been exploring the origins of my own insecurities. It’s been going on for several days now with reviews of my childhood, my adolescence, what made me me, etc.  It’s a bit like volunteering to dig into your own dirt before the warrior queen standing next to you hits you with the shovel.

In martial arts there is a jumping off point beginners have to learn. It’s not only learning how to hit someone (most people just don’t know how or, thankfully, have never had to) but it’s also learning how to take a hit. How it feels to take a shot to the blocking arm or to the body. It’s learning how to deal with the pain and the distracting sensations. You eventually get to a point where you feel it but it’s not necessarily pain. It’s just a sensation and you keep going. You build up a tolerance. You also build up confidence.

Two mornings ago I had a dream with the Morrigan.  As usual, she was in full black battle armor, dark mail gloves, boots and her black cloak of crow feathers.  We stood on frozen bare earth, in a clearing with dark pine woods encircling us.  There was not so much snow on the ground as just heavy frost.  There was snow in the pines, I remember that. There was a chill in the air, little glitterings of frost in the air and I could see our breath as we spoke.  The ground crunched underneath us as we stepped and moved.

She was punching me.  It was a type of martial training and she kept coming in with these heavy shots of those black mailed fists. WHAM! WhaM! I kept my head covered, taking the shots, feeling their impact on my upper arm, my shoulder as I covered. I could feel the cold metal of her gauntlets hitting me, the cold making the sensation worse. As soon as a punch landed I would attempt to grab, wrap and counter-strike. She would kick me off of or slide out and then bring the other fist around. I’d dodge one or two then WHAM!

Then, we would step back. She would say something, point to my blocking arm, point to me, say something else. She was blunt, direct but I don’t remember her words. All I know is that She wanted me to get used to the feeling of being punched by a hard mailed fist. It was part of the training. I was sore and bleeding but not tired.

Then, we would go again. I’m not sure how long the dream had gone. All I know is that she stopped, nodded and did her disappearing act.

I woke up.

I chewed on the meaning of the dream for some time. Finally, she whispered a clue in my ear, “Insecurities.” And then, I understood. In the dream-time, where symbols are key, she was symbolically teaching me how to shake off the veritable “slings and arrows” that make up insecurities. She was toughening me up.  I was being taught to react to those insecurities as you would take a hit in martial arts training.  Don’t get emotional.  It’s not personal.  It’s practice.

Later in the day I heard her again and wrote this out quickly on a notepad file. “”With an insecurity, you can’t take the hit. You can’t take a negative comment. You’re scared of opinions, you scared of what others think, you allow yourself to be controlled by others and are unable to stand your ground unless angry or mad. When that happens, when emotion takes over, you cannot react with skill. A warrior should react with skill and control.”

“Insecurities bring you doubt. They cause hesitation. They knock you off-balance. In training you learn they are nothing, that they do not effect you and they do not stick. If this is practiced you are then able to act in calm and confidence.  You can stand your ground without your ego interfering.”

“When you can do that, you’re ready.”

My next question was, of course, “Ready for what?”

“Growth,” was her single answer.

 


“One Card for You, One Card for Me.”

Since speaking with the Morrigan and agreeing to work with her I had a day where she was just not around.  Monday was fairly normal and the first day in a week where the blue flame image wasn’t prominent in my inner vision.  I spent the day asking, for the most part, “Ok, what next?”

This morning, during my morning card reading, she returned.  I was shuffling my Wildwood tarot and I felt her arrive.  This, in itself, is very hard to describe. It is a simple knowing, a presence.  I feel a shift and the dark blue flames tingle up my arms.

I greeted her and heard her say, “You asked a question about our work?”  I agreed and a simple statement came to my inner ear, “One card for you, one card for me.”  She stared at me and stayed behind my left shoulder as I drew both cards.  With the second card, I could feel her guiding my hand to the card.

So, there it was.  One card would be for my physical day, work, life, family, etc.  The second card would be for her.  It would tell me my first trial.  Fair enough.

I won’t show many of these and I’m guessing there will be several such lessons from her through the cards.  I’ve decided to show you this one because once you see the cards you’ll see just how apt the whole thing ended up being.  It’s also a bit of proof that the Morrigan is direct, engaging and no-nonsense.

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The first card, the card for me, the Four of Arrows, is about rest, about taking it easy.  Today, for me, is very much like this.  With the holiday nearby and me being off tomorrow, today will be easy.  After the intense weeks I have run since September, this is a welcome site.   More importantly, it’s a call to engage that rest, to be conscious of it.

The second card, the card from her.  Seven of Arrows ~ Insecurity.

Straight to the point.  The first step of the Morrigan’s teaching?  Time to dig up those insecurities and start looking at them.

“Start today and use your rest wisely,” she said.  “These insecurities need to go first before we continue and you will know when to draw the next card.  Address them, tend to them.  Sort them out and identify them.  It will be easier to weed them out.”

“All of them?”

“If not all, most,” she said and gave me that direct, black-eye stare.

“Well,” I said jokingly, “I’m gonna need a bigger boat.”

She just stared at me, gave me a half smile and a crook of an eyebrow to show me amusement and disappeared again.

She’s fond of me.  I can tell.

 

 


The Queen of Crows

(This is a very personal post which I did not want to initially publish.  I believe that part of my work with the Morrigan is to show my process with her, to help others to see or understand.  She has told me this isn’t for me.  It’s helpful and is necessary.  To be honest, I cannot guarantee I will keep this post up for very long.  We will see how this goes.)

On Sunday, I took a walk out into a chilly morning right after dawn to have a little sit down chat with the Morrigan.  You know, like you do…  I felt called to shoot a little video before hand which I did.  It’s over on my youtube channel if you want to see it.  I think now it was just a way for me to calm my nerves and to have some record in case I disappeared, swooped up in a dark cloud of crow wings and fury.  (Just kidding…I think.)

Shortly after filming I sat there and talked to her.  Well, I talked, she mainly listened.  Sitting on a log, nestled by some sheltering cedar from the cold breeze.  I was alone in meditation.  My eyes were closed, focused on my inner vision.

Unlike other spirits or visions, contact with her is crystal clear.  There are no “halfway” ideas of what I saw or didn’t see.  I don’t have to stretch for anything.  It’s typically in high-def.   Unlike the unclothed and long-maned Dark Lady from the Faeries Oracle, she was dressed in bulky, weathered, black leather armor, crow feathers and dark fur at her shoulders.  Her hair was black and unruly, cropped short falling just above her eyebrows and just below her ears. It looked like it had been cut with a knife.  On her back draped a long cloak that shimmered between dark blue, black and crow/raven feathers.

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Circling the Dark Flame

What a roller-coaster week.  Fallout from the election, the Taurus Supermoon and then the event from my previous post about the dark blue fire.   All this year I’ve drawn cards on the energies of this year and over and over I have received the Six of Arrows – Transition or The Journey (Death).  Over and over two words have sprung up, transition and transformation.  It almost feels like a season finale doesn’t it?  On top of that it appears to be a cliffhanger!  (If you go by Samhain being the end of the year it was DEFINITELY a cliffhanger, right?  Tune in next cycle for the stunning conclusion!)

In regards to the image of the dark blue fire, it’s become very central to me, one of the foremost things on my mind. Since I first had the image, it has stuck with me and has been a perpetual image on my inner space.  As I’ve processed and looked into things it has simply been there, waiting.  The rest of this post goes into it, goes into the larger tarot and card reading I did regarding it, the signs and experiences I’m having and then what I’ve decided about it.

My goal, by openly talking about it here, is education so less experienced readers might get a look, via a walk through of the past few days, of how to analyze and work through similar experiences.

Click below and make sure you have a cup of something tasty before you do.

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Dark Blue Fire

It was shortly after reading a post entitled “Be The Dark” by Druid John Beckett over on Pantheon that I was hit with the visualization. During a break at work I took a moment, closed my eyes and focused on why I felt his blog post had hit me so hard, why had it resonated so strongly with me?  I knew I had been holding back fears, processing angers and doubts.  I also was aware of the information passed on to me from the tarot readings on the recent super moon.   Maintain your center.  Be aware of emotions at full tide.  Balance.

I highly recommend you give it a look.  It’s focus is on what to do if you’re just not feeling connected to the Light?  What if you are still angry, upset and just plain mad?  In the post he talks about how, if you can’t be the Light, you should be the Dark.

Now,  I’m not known for my dark side wanderings.  I shy away from my anger and try to process it.  I typically stick pretty close to the Light and to my connection with nature in the daytime.  Flowers instead of thorns.  However, as I’ve grown older I’ve had an increased urge toward the thorns. As I stopped to think about the Dark, I was reminded of my first encounter with a dark nature spirit which occurred over twenty years ago.  It taught me that all was not as it seemed.

I would consider it a “dark Fey.”  Many, many years ago, I was fortunate enough to live in the country and to have a garage.  I had set up an altar in the garage and I used it as a ritual space for oracle work or meditation.  Two to three times a week, oftentimes more, I would sage and purify the space.  It was a good place.  We would have nearby nature spirits come by for a visit and some took up residence.  Many people commented on how “safe” they felt in that sanctuary.   We would have dinner in there with friends on the nights the Wheel turned.  One night, unable to sleep, I wandered in there to settle myself down for some quiet meditation/visualization at around 2 AM.  Just as I flipped on the light I felt this “whoosh” and had the sense of a dark, flowing spiky thing dashing underneath the cover of the altar table.  I also felt/sensed some of my Fey friends yell,  “turn the light off!”

I did so quickly but immediately went on the defensive.  Though I wanted to immediately go on the defensive, grabbing my sage and calling up shields, I did not.  I didn’t feel it was necessary.  I KNEW the wards on the space were solid and in place.  Whatever it was that was there, it had made it through the wards which meant, by default, it was okay.

I talked to it.  I coaxed it out of from underneath the table.  I asked if it was ok to light a small candle and was told it was.   The spirit felt dark as night and, as I said, spiky, like an odd mix of a goblin, spider and a scorpion.  It was also scared.  I did a quick card reading in hopes of learning more and I pulled the 5 of Pentacles.  Poverty.  Exhaustion.  It was just looking for a place to “warm up.”

With caution, I allowed it to stay the night and to return as needed.  I began to leave it offerings on the spirit plate I kept at that time.  I agreed that the lights in the garage would never come on after midnight or before 7 AM or dawn, whichever came first.  It did return and was always respectful and quite gracious.  It brought a few friends and the energy up there in the middle of the night was incredibly intense.  It was not for the faint of heart.   Over time, I found a friend with that dark spirit.

Now, do not misunderstand me, there is a distinct difference between Dark and Malicious.  Something may be Dark but not malicious or, as much as I hate to use the word, “evil.”  Another way I’ve been told to look at it is to say that some things do not appreciate the light of day time.  Though it may make them fuel for our fears it does not make them evil monsters.  My encounter that night  many years ago and the ones that followed changed the way I look at “shadow” things.  The spirit I met that night was no more evil than a black fox, a panther or a creepy looking spider.  Just because it was “of the dark” did not make it malicious or vengeful or any other stereotypical attributes some might jump towards.  I was reminded of the Batman or The Shadow from my youthful comic book days.  I learned that not all things dark and spiky were negative or evil.

It was my first interaction with “The Dark.”  Over the years, I would have many, many more.

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So, today, after reading the post I  mention above  I sat back, centered and, focused on my feelings regarding “being the dark.”  It felt fine.  It felt comfortable.   How odd!  It’s been some time since I had thought about that other side.  I could not ignore the resonance I was feeling.  I’ve known for some time that in order to grow and evolve I would need to look into the darker side of myself.  Was this what it was about?  Is this what the recent events, both at Samhain and the weeks following, were preparing me for?

As I sat and meditated on these questions an image sprang directly in front of my eyes with great power.  It was nothing that I had ever seen before; a single, large dark blue flame with light blue defining it’s flickering, burning edges.  It simply sat in front of me.  I saw nothing else but I felt much more.  I felt strength and, surprisingly, comfort and peace.  Though I felt a presence I heard or sensed no other communication except the sensations I was receiving.  It just hovered there, waiting, until I came out of trance and needed to get back to work.

So, now, I need to look into this further.  What was that Blue Flame all about?  What does it mean?  What about the Dark?  This evening and tomorrow I will be delving into it further as I have time to do so.  If anyone reading this has information on the aspects concerning a dark blue ball of flame with light blue fringes, please feel free to let me know in the comments.

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