Disconnection (Part 1 of 2)

Over the 2017 Summer the tarot cards did not like me.

Matter of fact, no divination system seemed to like me. It started at the beginning of May and continued throughout the month.  Having been involved with oracles and that type of  communication for over 30 years it was unsettling. There had never been a time where I felt so disconnected or unable to sense the message being put forward.

It started with my daily card draws. I began to get cards like the 9 of Swords, the Tower, and the 3 of Swords day after day. At first, I was concerned about what it meant. Then, as I focused on the real time events throughout the day I realized the cards did not apply at all.

I remember one in particular where I drew the Tower card for the day. I asked for some clarification on where the Tower energy might fall I pulled the 5 of Swords, Conflict. I decided to go through the day as normal and tried to not jump at shadows. I focused on staying neutral.  Certainly, such a combination of those two cards would show themselves in some way as I went through my day.  However, as the day played out and evening came, I found that my day had, in fact, been quite good and several positive things had occurred.

Another instance was when I drew a card to help me decide on something regarding my wife and I. The 3 of swords, jealousy, relationships ending and other unpleasant things. At first, of course, I was concerned but I already had my eye “on the weather” , so to speak, and so, not listening too closely to the card, moved forward.  Needless to say, the energy never manifested and everything turned out fine.

In trying to do more structured readings for either myself or friends I would get, to be blunt, garbage. In May it was working alright but by early June, nothing would make sense. I would ask about something regarding my work and, again, draw cards like the Tower, the 8 of Swords, the 5 of Swords and the Devil. At the time, I was asking about whether I should move on a particular project not if the world was ending!  Regardless, everything was doom, gloom, defeat and chaos.  This continued on with all my normal oracles I had been familiar with for so long. The Faeries Oracle continued to show me the more “slippery” cards like Topsy Turvetts, The Pookha or The Glanconer. One card would say “Speed up!”, another would say, “Slow down!”

In June, I actually stopped reading the cards for other people because of the mixed signals and general chaos which seemed to come with every reading. I decided to tuck everything away and I chose not to read anything for a few weeks. When that had passed, now late May almost June, I pulled some cards out and tried again. And, again, the same effect. I put the cards away again. I did become a bit “lost” because it was something that had become second nature to me.

To have the connection suddenly disappear is very hard to describe. A reading from a friend over Facebook eased my mind a bit and suggested it was just a period of time-out and that the answer would come. I was not to “push” anything and to just let it be.  I opted for a “Full stop” approach.  I could picture a large ship’s telegraph in my mind.   I stopped with the cards, with spirits, with dowsing.  All of it.  I did continue to offer spirit offerings and to put out a small plate of goodies for our house brownie.  Otherwise, nothing.  I allowed myself to fall into the mundane life.  I forced myself to wait.  It was not easy but it felt necessary.

In addition other things fell away and I felt like a thick quilt had been thrown up over me and my connections. I stopped remembering my dreams. Odd, happenstance encounters with wildlife stopped occurring as regularly. Life became, for a lack of a better word, mundane.

 

The summer months went by and then, around the end of July, I had a curious thought brought about by binge watching “Vikings.” I had the small thought, “My first divination system was the runes.  What if I looked at those again?”  I can tell you exactly what episode it was.  Episode 16 of Season 4, “Crossings.”  It was a powerful episode for me.  If you’ve seen it, you know why.

I then realized, without remorse, that I had given away my first rune set to one of my children a few years ago.  This, however, inspired me as I would now have to start over.  Nothing gets you fired up and into something then having to start over.  My first set to get me up and running was made with a fine point Sharpie pen on trimmed index cards.  Resourceful and functional.  It got me through a few weeks until I could get to a craft store to purchase some wooden discs.  I then spent a delightful evening painting the elder futhark onto them with acrylic craft paint.  It was a pretty magical and ceremonial event with me bent over my little plastic cup, my paint brush and my little wooden discs.  I didn’t even have a candle or incense going!  How rebellious!  What I did do with every single symbol I painted was I focused internally.  I focused on the symbol, what it meant and attempted to paint as clean as lines as possible and THAT was my ceremony.

Within a few hours, I found myself with a set of futhark runes.  After letting them dry and working out the stiffness in my cramped brush hand I placed them in a ceramic bowl and drew my first rune using the new set.

Ansuz.  Communication and signals.  The rune of prophecy and, most importantly, the rune of Odin himself.

Given my situation, there was not a more fortuitous rune I could have drawn which could encompass all I had been through.   At that moment, I knew that whatever disconnection had occurred was on its way out.  Was it possible that my time without connection was equivocal to Odin’s time in the tree?  Had I been hanging upside down as some sort of internal process worked it’s way through me?  As an extra spot of fun, Odin had figured very heavily into that episode of Vikings I mentioned that started the whole process.  As I said, if you’ve seen it, you know what I mean!

Little did I know just how much of a process had been working and what kind of re-connection was about to occur!

(Continued in Part 2, Reconnection.)

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