Walls and Categories

Just a quick update and some post-solstice musings.  I’ve spend the past few weeks moving at an incredibly high rate of speed.  Besides the action packed life of an unemployed father and the daily doings that go along with it, I’ve been very focused on not only my spirituality and my energy work but how that coincides with my oracle practice.  The most important thought I managed to think in all of it was a very simple one.

You can’t separate them.

Yet, I think a lot of us do it all the time.  We place a barrier, some thin as paper and others as thick as bunker walls, between our spiritual life, our energetic condition on the planet, and our physical daily life.  It’s the static that comes when we divide our suit of Cups from our suit of Pentacles by overworking our suit of Swords and Wands.  The thicker the wall, the more the static.   As I’ve decided to be more open about all of this in my daily life, I’ve found that I cannot even consider going back to those thicker divisions I once operated under.  Matter of fact, the more open I am about what I believe, feel and, on occasion, see, the more those walls turn to paper or even mist.  The more those walls disintegrate the more clearer come the messages from Spirit which, in turn, helps to bring the walls down.

How do you separate your everyday life from that of your spiritual, magical one?

Something Magical This Way Comes…

I’m working on about four different posts while also trying to get ready for Yule with my family.  Crazy times abound!  One of those posts involved focusing on the upcoming solstice/lunar eclipse.  Thankfully, I found someone who’s alreay done it for me!

I just wanted to point everyone in the direction of someone who says it all much better than I ever could!  My Coyote-Mama and mentor, Jesa.  She has some wonderful insights towards the energies coming forward.

You can find her post here.

The Winter Solstice, The Full Moon and the Lunar Eclipse

I wish everyone a grounded, magical and rejuvenating Solstice!

Tough Lessons

Just a quick note to say that I’m not dead, just sleeping!  Actually, not sleeping but resting and struggling through an entire series of challenges that timed themselves perfectly with the final days of the Mercury Retrograde period.  Funny how that works, eh?  The most recent was recovering from a sinus infection brought on by the incredibly dry weather here in the Midwest.  I’m happy to say I was able to knock it down through good ol’ fashioned remedies and stubbornness.  And yes, if it had gotten any worse then it did, I would have hightailed it to a doctor.  I’m not stupid, just stubborn!

The biggest challenge though was brought on by a serious mistake on my part.  The details are for me to hold.  It was one of those lessons where you’re much better off for it regardless of how much foundational shaking occurs.  This, on top of the aforementioned challenges, has been the main reason for not posting.  The subject of the lesson, in short, was life and the exchange of life.  What I learned, after a series of unfortunate events brought about by my own stupidity, was that if I was going to connect myself to the energy of Mother Earth, work with that energy and with her numerous spirits I was put on notice that I would be held to a higher standard.  I was not allowed to “take a break” from it and it should always, ALWAYS, be treated with utmost respect.  Not unless I wanted to imperil that connection after several decades of building it!

I understand a lot of that is vague.  I apologize.  My hope is that over time I’ll be able to process this lesson and be able to use it a teaching tool.  One of the other unfortunate side effects of this series of events is that my relationship with my dowsing rods has been undermined.  When I asked them for the location of a personal item of mine I’d lost during this time, they responded with trickery and deception.  There were multi-fold things occuring, of course, and I’m aware of them which helps.   A.) I was using them for a personal item that I was emotionally attached to.  B.) There was a hard core lesson occurring and it’s my belief that I wasn’t allowed any “easy outs” that dowsing would provide.  Regardless, I’m faced with nagging doubt whenever using them and will need to build my confidence with them over time.  I have no doubt that confidence will return.

The upside to this is that I’ve been working with the tarot and my other oracles much more.  It was incredibly helpful to me as I worked through the problem and gave me the insight to carry into the spirit and do the work necessary.  I realize I’ve drifted off of tarot cards and oracles and so I’ll be posting more readings and information as early as the next day or so!

Into the Sun

I took a walk yesterday.

It was a calling that came from deep inside and it was the first urging I’ve felt since my companion’s passing.  The signal was completely clear.  I was to go to the nearby park at lunchtime and walk around the wooded path near the K1 Node.  I didn’t even know where I was to start or where I was going.  All I knew was to go to the start of the path.

Even a temperature of 98, a heat index of 110 and a blazing sun did little to sway me.  There was little choice.  I was going.

I stepped out of my car and, following the instruction from my rods, I got started.  The heat was oppressive in my business clothes but I strolled slowly onward.  I didn’t ask too many questions.  I just listened and went where the rods pointed.  I knew, in my core, I was just here to receive information.  They pointed to the beginning of the path which I already knew would be my starting point.  Once there, however, they took me in a direction I had not expected.

The first stop was an open meadow with no shade.  I grumbled at first because I was already streaming sweat.  However, I paused and stood where the rods told me.  I relaxed, trying to let the heat flow through me.  Then, as I relaxed and centered, the meadow opened up to me.  Butterflies.  Butterflies, unaffected by the heat, were everywhere. I think I saw six to eight different species including my favorite, a monarch which fluttered out of the woods at me and flew within inches of my face.  Suddenly, the heat disappeared and I was mesmerized.  I stood in the baking sun, feeling the sun soak deep into my skin, my muscles, with butterflies dancing all around me.  It was wonderful.

Then, I felt something fall off of me.  It wasn’t physical.  It was a chunk of something, something stuck to me since my weeks of grief and stress.  I lifted the rods again and asked if I should stay here longer.  They now pointed down the trail.  Time to keep going.

The rods took me around and back again into the woods.  I relaxed and strolled.  A breeze suddenly played in the treetops and then pushed down the path, coming up behind me and over me.  Even a warm breeze was a relief and I let out a heavy sigh to accompany it on it’s journey eastward.  Something else fell off of me.  I noted it, said my thanks and moved on.  As I walked the loud drone of the cicadas were almost hypnotizing.

The rate of feeling something release off of me increased.  What has been sudden breaks and chunks now became a flow of smaller particles all floating off me, drifting away in the sunlight and sinking into the earth.  In my mind I pictured Pigpen from the Peanuts and his constant trail of stuff trailing behind him.  All the strife and grief was falling away and I asked for it to sink into Mother Earth instead of leaving it laying around.

All in all, I was instructed to walk a figure eight path which took me again through the small central meadow again before heading to the western side of the walk.  Again, in the small meadow, butterflies danced around me.  I was instructed to stop again.  I did and this time the sun surrounded me, pressed into me.  It was like a sauna but it felt comforting, supportive.  Sweat streamed down my face, into my eyes, down my neck.  I closed my eyes.  It felt like I was shedding my skin and I stretched in the heat.   It felt so good I started crying and the last of all the bad pieces were obliterated, sharding off of me in all directions and, suddenly, the world opened up to me.  It seemed information was downloading into me at a rapid rate so fast I wasn’t even able to really comprehend everything coming in.

Suddenly, it was all okay.  All of it.  I started moving again.

Letting my hands drift over the top of the high grass I moved onward in a blissful state.  Near the end of the walk, a dragonfly with delicate wings of lightning landed directly next to me on a grass stalk.  I paused and looked at him.  He was beautiful.  From the Medicine Cards –

“Dragonfly medicine is of the dreamtime and the illusionary facade we accept as physical reality. The iridescence of Dragonfly’s wings reminds us of colors not found in our everyday experience. Dragonfly’s shifting of color, energy, form, and movement explodes into the mind of the observer, bringing vague memories of a time or place where magic reigned.. Have you tended to the changes you have wanted to make in your life?”

I stared at him a long time and admired his wings which he had no trouble showing off to me.  I heard the message and gave my thanks.  The minute I did so he flew off and a breeze once again blew down the path.

Two steps later, a garter snake danced across the grass in front of me.  Transmutation.  An act of converting base metals into silver and gold.  More confirmation on the shedding of an old skin.  The snake paused briefly to look at me.  I said, “Hello,” and he too bolted for higher grass.   Once again, message received loud and clear!

Again from the Medicine Cards –

“Their initiation involves experiencing and living through multiple snake bites, which allows them to transmute all poisons, be they mental, physical, spiritual, or emotional…there is a need within you to transmute some thought, action, or desire so that wholeness may be achieved. This is heavy magic, but remember, magic is no more than a change in consciousness. Become the magician or the enchantress: transmute the energy and accept the power of the fire.”

I knew at that point, I was finished with my walk.  The end was also heralded by two crows (I’ve mentioned the crows, right?)  that suddenly launched themselves from a tree further down and flew towards my car.  What else was there for me to do at that point but to give thanks for everything I had been given and follow them?

At the end of the walk I checked with the rods to double check I was, indeed, finished?  Yes was the reply.  I smiled though because it didn’t feel like I was done at all.  It felt like I was just getting started!

As I walked, I reviewed everything.

• Butterflies – transformation, beauty, grace.
• Cicadas – help in transformation, rebirth-renewel-regeneration.
• Dragonflies – Dreamtime, Illusion, Guide to transformation
• Snake- Shamanic/magical power and transmutation.  Also of note is that Snake has been my totem for dowsing work since I first began working with it.
  
• A Figure 8 – Infinity, resurrection.
• The Sun – Solar energy. Powerful cleansing.  Forward movement.  Fire.

All of it occurring in under an hour.  If I couldn’t muddle my way through those symbols then I wasn’t really cut out for all of this, now was I?  And, the final point which struck me as I left the woods and felt the sun’s heat encase me again?  It had been exactly two weeks to the day since my dear companion’s passing.

Message received loud and clear, old friend.

Keep It Open

Last week we got the news my wife’s grandfather passed away.  It was not a shock since he had been in hospice since late last year and had, very recently, stopped eating.  This would make the fifth passing in two years with the other four being my own grandparents.  During two of them I had the great honor of being at their bedside when they passed.  Those two events changed me on a fundamental level.

Although knowing a loved one is close to passing, knowing he is in hospice, knowing the end is on it’s way, the news always surprises you.  One minute you are getting ready for work, for a normal day, and thirty seconds later everything is different and all your priorities change.

When you hang up the phone the world is a much different place.

The card for the end of my week last week was the six of swords.  A man is leaving by boat, a new journey is underway and a transition is occurring.  Though depressing or sad, the card marks a time of change and/or travel.  At the time I wasn’t sure what it meant.  I had my thoughts but had decided to wait it out.  The minute I heard my wife’s voice answering the phone I knew and I rushed to be by her side.

Funerals are spiritual times and, dare I say it, magical spaces.  We want magic to be sparkly wands, candlelight, and happiness.  Unfortunately, or, well, fortunately, there is a balance in all things and magic is also Death.  The catch is remembering that even though it’s death it is just as amazing as birth.  It is a transition.  Unfortunately, we are taught from an early age that it’s unavoidable and oftentimes a bad thing.  It is THE END.  Because it is the greatest unknown our initial primal move is to move away from it, to fear it, to not even look at it.  However, in my experience, this is not necessarily the case.  For the soul departing, particularly one in pain or discomfort from old age, it is a happy time.  I am much more prone to follow the lines of the New Orleans wake than a dour, grim funeral.

Regardless, what we feel on this side, the grief, the emotions, the confusion also remember that those hectic, draining, grieving days of funeral, as well as the days following, are a transitional and communal space for both the living and the recently passed.  It becomes a sacred space.  If you stay open to them, if you can ground yourself and put the often overwhelming grief to the side, messages are sent and received.  The interplay of synchronicity, personal emotions and the spirit of the loved one play themselves out in a intricate and touching dance.  They are transitional, foundational and beautiful moments in time.

The best advice I can give anyone who has been thrust into these turbulent spaces is “Keep your eyes and your heart open.  Keep it all open.”  I’ve had things fall off of walls, doors locked that shouldn’t lock, people saying things they never would have said normally, amazing sunsets, and animals appearing out of nowhere and oftentimes out of season.  These magical spaces and rituals are a time where communication takes place but it’s rarely as we would expect it.

During his funeral, I took my own advice.  I wasn’t sure what I was looking for but I was keeping my eyes open, not only for myself but for what others in the family might miss.  I was being purposefully and full bore open to anything.  The wall behind the casket was all window and a beautiful blue sky shone through it.  I felt compelled to keep my eyes locked to that sky though I did not know why.  I watched the clouds move along and I watched, I listened.  I held my wife’s hand.  I kept the tissues going and kept an eye on the kids.  I cried but not for the man but for his family’s grief.  I didn’t cry for her grandfather because I knew he was in a much better place.

After the service and just before the casket was closed and military rites began, I saw it; a butterfly.  It fluttered outside the window, bounced a few times against it, and then flew rather purposefully directly above the casket.  It flew there for moments while completing a handful of circles, occasionally drifting down towards the casket.  I don’t know if anyone else saw it.  I nudged my wife and she nodded quickly.  Then, it flew up and away from the window.  In a flicker it was upwards and out of site at the precise moment the naval officers flanked either side of the casket.   Taps was played.  No other butterfly flew by during the entire event.

It wasn’t the first butterfly I had seen in connection with death nor, I was certain, would it be my last.  For me, it’s not the cloaked man or the raven or the owl which is the symbol of Death.  For me, after the death has occurred, the butterfly is that perfect symbol of transformation.  A butterfly goes through immense struggle as it completes that final transition from knobby caterpillar to beauty and grace.  As it hangs drying its wings it’s at its most vulnerable point.  Then, the wings spread and it’s flying.  A butterfly at a funeral is a simple and ecstatic message for me.

“Hey, everyone, look!  I made it!”

It is best to keep your eyes and heart open.  You may be surprised by what comes to you.

—————————————————

Afterword – I sent this to my wife after I had written it.  Since it involved her and her family, I wanted her approval to post it.  After reading it she sent me a small reminder of something I showed her once and I wanted to share it here.  It’s a parable from the Taoist Chaung Tzu.

Once upon a time, I, Chuang Tzu, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man. Between a man and a butterfly there is necessarily a distinction. The transition is called the transformation of material things.

Oil Spill Commentary from the Tarot

After my early morning round of healing for the Gulf today I drew a card.  I drew a card when we started the work on Saturday morning.  The first card from Saturday was the Five of Cups.  I found it striking and clear as to it’s message

5 of Cups – Loss.  Regret. Loss that initiates change.  Losing hope and moving away.  Turning around from a horrible situation to find two full cups.

Is the Gulf situation without hope?  Is  it time to let go of the grief and the tragedy and move on to resolution?   The damage is completely out of control and becoming worse.  Is it time to look beyond what has happened and begin to prevent what could happen on the global scale?  I also took note of the far away building (city) and the dark gook around the fallen and spilled cups.  Two of the cups look as if they have spilled towards the river/water.  Perhaps I am ever hopeful but I was drawn to the two cups behind the person, standing upright but ignored.  There is a way out of this.  There is something being ignored as we only focus on our grief, anger and resentment.

This Solstice morning after performing the round I asked, “What is the outcome of the energy work towards the Gulf on this Solstice?”

The Tower.   Transformative down to the bare bones change.  Old foundations and ways of being, once strong in their stone walls, were about to be hit by lightning and awash with water.  Water again.  Shocking transformation and upheaval.  A wake up call of immense proportions.

The card is not meant for anyone that is already aware of the horrible system collapse we are about to see.  It is for the ones that, for so long, felt untouchable in their castles and towers.  Whatever comes next… that Tower card is for them.  If you look on the Tower card and say, “Well, that couldn’t possibly mean me,” then your time and world, as you know it, are limited.

The shake-up indicated by the Tower is something that perhaps none of us will see coming.  For Americans and the world to change their thinking over fossil fuel would take something on par with a world class disaster.  The habits, profits and thinking are already grilled into almost three generations.  The pathways have been burned in and the entire infrastructure is built upon it.  It would take something on par with the Tower to REALLY change things.  Is this it?

We will just have to wait and see where the lightning bolts strike.

I will continue to draw cards on this as we go through each day.  I’ll post them here as I can.

What are your thoughts?

Prayers for the Gulf

I’m very sorry to get this posted much later then I would have liked…

I’ve started a Facebook group whose focus and goal is to send a scheduled series of healing energy and prayers to the Gulf for five days over the Solstice.

You can find it here : Prayers and Energy for the Gulf

Today we begin by sending at least five minutes of prayer, light and healing to the Gulf coast area.  We are asking for protection, healing and, most importantly, a beginning to a resolution. We are doing this in synch with sunrise over the Gulf which is 6 AM Central Daylight Time.  (11 AM GMT/UTC)

Tomorrow we will do the same.

On the Solstice we will have three rounds, one at sunrise, one at solar noon and one at sunset.  The times are listed on the Facebook page and in the discussion board there.

Two days following Solstice, we will return to morning sessions.

This quest is open to anyone and everyone as long as their only intention is to bring beneficial healing energies to the tragedy.  There will be a bit more on the Facebook page as I can post.

My sincerest apologies for the lateness of the announcement.  Join us if you can, spread the word and do whatever you can.

Thank you!